Reboot

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  • Reach For the Stars (you just might catch one)

    Reach For the Stars (you just might catch one)

    Rebooting at 50 (Spoiler: It’s Not That Easy)

    Rebooting.

    Turns out it’s not as easy as I hoped.

    There’s this deep desire in me to find fulfillment and start over at 50 — but y’all… this is going to take some time. I still sit at my desk, day in and day out, triaging not-so-grateful patients for far less money than I deserve. But it’s healthcare. What can you say? (And don’t all speak at once about how great it is.)

    By the way, this week is Nurse Appreciation Week. Yay me.

    It’s also Teacher Appreciation Week. And here’s my question: Why do we take two of the most important and completely underappreciated professions and cram them into one week? Out of all the weeks in the year, we couldn’t each get our own? Just one week to hear “Thanks for all you do,” and maybe get a new notepad and pen?

    Who’s the genius who said, “Meh, they don’t need separate weeks. We could do without them anyway”?

    Um. No.

    I’m a nurse because of a teacher. Without teachers, there are no nurses. And without nurses… well, you’d have a lot of under-cared-for patients and a lot of under-educated people.

    Wait — did I just say that like it isn’t already happening?

    Anyway, while I wait for my new path to magically appear and send me into influencer/YouTube wealth (seriously, why wasn’t I the one who thought of opening plastic eggs with tiny toys?), I’ve considered a few alternative options:

    • I tried to win $1,000 playing bingo on my phone in one day. Turns out? Lies. Bold, sparkly, convincing lies.
    • I attempted to sell on Facebook Marketplace. It’s a lot of work for a $10 PPU. (That’s Porch Pick-Up. Also, POOS = Posted On Other Site. You’re welcome for the lingo lesson.)
    • I reminisced about the glory days of donating plasma in college. Beer money for sitting still while they take your blood? Genius. Until I passed out. But I would recover and still made it to happy hour. Today? I’d pass out and never wake up. Plus, I’m on so many medications now, I’m basically undonatable.

    But you know what? I know my gift is out there. I’m ready to pounce.

    Easy, tiger. Rome wasn’t built in a day. Neither was Rachel Hollis. Or her empire. 

    There are so many things I want to do: event planning, giving pep talks, writing a book, making people laugh, opening plastic eggs on YouTube. Yes, really.

    And if you’re joining me on this messy, funny, hopeful midlife reboot, here are a few things you should probably know…

    Fun (Really Embarrassing) Facts About Me at 50:

    • My favorite place on Earth is the Magic Kingdom. Cue the fireworks and I am an embarrassingly sobbing mess.
    • My favorite movie? Clueless. AS IF!!
    • I still dream of seeing New Kids on the Block one more time for closure — if I don’t, I swear my heart might break in two. 
    • Yes, I can still do a cartwheel. No, it wasn’t graceful. Yes, there’s video
    • I cannot parallel park and never will.
    • I own more fuzzy socks than professional shoes.
    • I’m not saying I’d trade my wardrobe for glittery clothes made for a 5-year-old, but… okay, I totally would
    • I believe every birthday should come with party hats and balloons. Otherwise, what’s the point of pretending to celebrate?

    So yeah. I’m 50. I’m frustrated, hopeful, a little delusional, and still totally a kid at heart. But I’m not done yet. I have things to do, dreams to chase, people to inspire, and eggs to open. (Just kidding. Kind of.)

    Until we meet again…

  • Reboot

    Reboot

    I was looking through some old stuff on my computer and I found my old blog site. I used to love writing, and I still do. Many people probably don’t know that about me. Life got in the way. Work, running a household, sports events, etc. You all know that drill. However, it got me thinking and I said to myself “Today I am going to make a post on my 10 year old blog”. (And by I, I mean myself only, not ChatGPT).

    Do people still blog? My 19-year-old son says, “No mom, nobody reads those anymore; that is so old.” But here I go anyway. Will people judge me, talk about me, laugh at me? To that, I say in the famous words of Mel Robbins, #letthem.

    I turned fifty this year. FIFTY! AARP, Centrum Silver, achy joints fifty. But being fifty has also inspired me to start reflecting on my life over the decades. If I knew then what I know now would I change anything? And to that, I would say with great enthusiasm an astounding “YES”! Maybe I would invest in bitcoin, learn to control my anxiety better, care less what people thought about me, speak up more, try harder, take care of myself better. Too late. But there is also so much I would not change. I am a lucky gal. I was able to be home mostly to raise my boys. Those three little guys back from 2015 are either grown adults now or pretty close to it. There is so much to say about these amazing kids that I will save it for another time. I am still married after 22 years. We can all relate to the ups and downs of marriage, but we are still standing by each other’s side through thick and thin and he still has my heart.

    But man, the world has flipped upside down, and not in a good way. Nothing can ever top Gen-X! Anyway, back to business. I’m a nurse, been doing this gig for almost 20 years now. I got into nursing because I genuinely wanted to help people, you know? But that’s not really how it goes anymore. The healthcare world has totally changed, and we all see it. I can still recall when I made the decision to become a nurse—I thought, “if I can make a difference for just one person, then I’m all in.” Fast forward to now, and here I am feeling burnt out. And when I say burnt out, I mean I’m sizzling by the end of the day, just wanting to crash in my bed. Dealing with patients yelling, folks asking for antibiotics for a simple runny nose, and ignoring the advice they literally asked for. But sometimes, just sometimes, a little spark of hope comes along when someone says, “thank you, you’ve made a difference.” That totally makes my day, but honestly, it doesn’t happen often enough. There’s gotta be more out there for me. I need a place where I can truly make an impact and feel it deep down. I’m on the hunt for that. And I’m not going to stop until I find it. But at my age, where do I even start? Today is my fresh start, and I’m on a mission to chase that fulfilling feeling that sticks with me after I clock out at 5:00. Today is day one. It’s never too late to chase your dreams!